Monday, May 07, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Men Should not be Ordained

there's been more buzz in my corner of the internet lately about gender in church than usual. Mostly because the CRC Synod is approaching and some members are organizing a protest about the seven year morotorium on even discussing gender equity, and the continued exclusion of women as synod delegates. I've made my position on this issue clear in the past.

People have been reposting this list, which, as far as I can tell, comes from transforming seminarian.

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained (think David Letterman)

10. A man's place is in the army.
9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.
8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.
7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.
6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.
5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.
4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.
3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.
2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.
1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.


Rachel said...

I posted that on the CRC Synod Witness discussion group and look at the response I got! How's this for irony:

"Um...yeah....?! For one, every where in the Bible, it says that men is the head of the church, and that women are to be silent, and to teach children. There is no where that is says otherwise. Women have their role, but it is not priesthood. Men are to be the priesthood and heads of the churches, and not women. Timothy, Genesis, Corinthians, and many other books in the Bible, talk about the roles of men and women. Also, besides, not only men deny Christ, many women do as well, even at his time on Earth, before he died. So you can not make that claim. Many people deny him, not knowing what they are really doing. You are too much of a feminist. Have an open mind, and don't be so arrogant about being a woman yourself. I am a woman of 20 years, old, and I know a heck of a lot more than you do, obviously. Sorry, but you need to study your scriptures more, and heck, more some light reading, maybe pick up a Book of Mormom, or Docterine and Covenants (just go to your local library, and ask for them.) They should have them. If not, find a local Community of Christ church. Thanks. I hope that before you continue to spread false information, you will study, and pray, because if you truly believe in God, then He will reveal to you that men are the head of church! Take care, my sister in Christ, and I will surely be praying for you and others."

I tell ya, some people need to learn to laugh at themselves. And what satire is.

bethany said...

that's pretty funny. My favorite part is when she tells you to "have an open mind." uh huh.

Rachel said...

My favorite is, "if you truly believe in God, then He will reveal to you that men are the head of church!" Oh, gag!

As an aside, one of my favorite things about the resurrection story is that Jesus first appeared to the women. Thank you very much.

the chickens' auntie said...

My favorite is the "Book of Mormom, or Docterine and Covenants" -- I do so enjoy a literate rebuttal!

Rachel said...

haha! that's funny. and gross.
but i can't really say anything because i'm pretty sure i still have leftover ham from easter in the fridge. ;)